There is a lot on my mind right now.

I am currently sitting in my hotel room in Delaware, reviewing the past 5 days of training that I have received in Parental Alienation and Estrangement.  I have listened to lecture, discussed scenarios, role-played, and asked any question that I could think of in an effort to get the most out of this training.  The training has been 7 to 8 hours each day.  I could go into all the new information that I've learned, but there is something else on my mind right now, the people.  I met some great people this week from California, Texas, New York, New Jersey, and Delaware (obviously).  I had a great time getting to know everyone.  

One of the most memorable activities was watching the videos of Salvador Minuchin council with families and consult with the therapists under his supervision.  To hear Linda Gottlieb talk about her mentor was extremely touching.  

If you had asked me before this week, I would have told you that I didn't have anyone I wanted to meet, I didn't have a "hero" per se.  After this training, I would have to say not only Salvador Minuchin, but also Linda Gottlieb.  I did not get to pick her brain too much this week, but hearing about everything that she has done with her program and how she works with families was impressive and made me want to know more.  I have benefited so much from Linda's instruction.

If you know me personally, you know that I am a very nostalgic person.  I hate when memorable events end.  I have to admit how sad I am that this is all over.  I miss my wife and kids, I have missed them every night this past week.  I can't wait to see them tomorrow evening.  That not withstanding, I am going to look back on this with much more than a memory of training, but relationship building and a sense of comradery.  I honestly hope that I get to keep in touch with everyone and come back someday for a "refresher".  

Thank you, Linda, for staying in touch and inviting me to this training.  To everyone else reading this, I hope this encourages you to take that "extra step" and experience something new, get out of your comfort zone.  Let me know if I can help.

New Beginnings

It has been a long time since I wrote something.  This post seems a little late, a week in to January, but life has been incredible.  In a way, this is "one of those" posts about the New Year and all, but it also about all the changes that have happened despite the time of year.  Since my last post, I have taken a part time job, moved to a bigger office (same area), upgraded to a new logo, new website, finally started getting paid back by insurance, and made some wonderful contacts for my practice. My practice is now doing better than it ever has, with a comfortable schedule.  I am extremely blessed with how well this practice has taken off.  But that is not all I wanted to talk about.  I wanted to talk about change, persistence, hope, and pillows.  That's right, pillows.  My wife gave me a wonderful ergonomic memory foam pillow.  I so much more relaxed.  I am also a lot more comfortable sleeping than I used to.  Now, obviously it is not just the pillow that helps me relax.  It is everything I mentioned: change, persistence, hope, and the pillow.  My life has changed so much in the past year, but all for the better.  I had to have persistence to get here, where I felt led to be, and I had to have hope to feed and maintain my persistence.  The pillow is just the illustration of all that for me.  I was not happy with my old pillow, any of them.  I kept trying to find a new one, never settling.  And, as weird as this sounds, I hoped for it for Christmas...  It is new.  It is different.  I had to get used to it, because of the different shape.  This all sounds stupid, I know.  But I pray you can relate this to your life.  If you're not happy with what you have, and you feel that there is better, do your research, find a way to make it happen.  Don't be afraid to ask for help, and be persistent until you get what you need/want.   Persistence is important, because sometimes you have to wait for what you want.  Don't be discouraged.  If there is a change you want to make, let's work on it together.  You can have that new job, better relationship, more comfort or relaxation.  If I can help with support, prayer, ideas, etc..  please, let me know.

Completion - A Quick Note

I recently had the blessing of helping a person finish a program that will help them improve not only their-own life, but their spouse's as well.  It was a wonderful feeling to know that this marked a new phase of life, a new opportunity, a new era.  This may sound corny, I'm cool with that.  We all have phases in life, chapters that we use to mark the start and stop to stages.  This was one of those stages.

Think back with me.  Most of you reading will remember moments growing up, when you realized that there was going to be more expectation, more responsibility.  Even if you don't remember, I'm sure your parents and teachers do remember.  School is based on this concept of stages.  Different grades teach different levels of information.  When you complete certain grades, you have graduation to the next level.  Kindergarten graduates to 1st grade, high school graduates to either college or the workforce.  Cub Scouts graduate to Boy Scouts, and military recruits graduate to active duty.  There are a lot more "graduations" that we sometimes take for granted.  As a man, I know men can sometimes miss opportunities to celebrate ourselves and others into new chapters.  As parents, teachers, counselors, mentors, deacons, etc, we must be intentional in helping to usher younger men (and women) into their new phase of life.

I remember a lot time ago, I was part of a men's group that watched the video series for Men's Fraternity.  I remember thinking that I needed to be more intentional with my son.  With that in mind, I set up a plan to help my son celebrate each stage in his life.  I wanted him to know that he was growing to be a baby to a child, from a child to a young man, and from a young man to a man.  I remember the look on his face when he got his first BB gun and first knife.  He was so proud of himself, as were my wife and I.

Celebrations are fun, but there are deeper reasons for setting steps.  Completion of a goal, task, or phase gives a feeling of accomplishment.  This can translate into a feeling of pride, energizing and preparing the person for the next step.  Stress that has accumulated is (typically) released when the task is completed.  The best reason for setting up steps for completion, is setting up the person for success.  Short term goals help reach longer term goals.  You can't drive all the way across the country without knowing the different individual roads you need to drive toward.  Each road is a step to let you know you are on the right path.

This is not gender specific.  There is a need for men and women to offer guidance and support by giving direction, steps, even expectations.  It is never too late to celebrate with those to whom you give guidance.  Please feel free to share how you help celebrate stages of life.